Well, I am sitting here trying to pull myself together to make it "onemoreweek" with radiation. The reason it is one word is that when I am feeling overwhelmed, tired, hurting, etc I just mumble it to myself. It rolls off the tongue, through gritted teeth, with a sigh. I can do ANYTHING for one more week.
To be honest, I think I have been "white knuckling" it since they said the word "biopsy"-four long months ago. I am a little bit terrified that when that last radiation appointment is done I am going to melt into a little puddle and be a worthless mess. I was thinking that I need to come up with some sort of celebration so I have a reason to not fall apart. Suggestions???
Really, things aren't all that bad. Slug life just doesn't suit me that well. I really like to be DOING things. I like to have a clean house, clean laundry, and bills that are paid on time. And, even though I really don't like cooking at all, there is a level of satisfaction that comes with actually having the energy to prepare, serve and clean up after a meal--one that doesn't include frozen waffles or paper plates. Someday I will get back there--today I am just grateful for frozen waffles and paper plates.
It sounds like friends from church will be bringing some meals and inviting my kids for play dates this week. Thank you ALL in advance! It makes me think I will actually make it through this.
So, here we go! Onemoreweek...
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Checkin' in with the Oncologists--plural-yes, plural.
Yesterday I went to see both of my oncologists. I still can't believe I have one oncologist, the thought of two just astounds me.
Anyway, I met with the medical oncologist. His job is to "manage the cancer". He is in charge of meds, overall plan, etc. He ordered another set of liver tests to see how my liver is handling the tamoxifen. The good news is that all of the counts were normal. He looked me straight in the eye and told me that was terrific news, and that he had to be honest. The last counts that he saw really, really scared him. I guess people don't live very long/high quality lives with the counts I had last time. His best guess is that I was still trying to process the anesthesia out of my system from the surgery. The good news is that my body seems to be handling this medication just fine. I don't have to see him for another 6 months!
I also saw my radiation oncologist. Busy day. I see him once each week during radiation. I just started the 5th week. He was just advising me how to best deal with the side effects of the radiation. There really isn't anything that can be done to make things better, in fact he expects them to just get worse over the next few weeks. He just helps make sure the skin isn't infected, etc. I still have three weeks of "slug life" left. I don't know how much time will be needed after the radiation to "bounce back to myself". It takes some people up to 6 months. I, of course, plan to be an over-achiever and not take nearly that long. The good news is that in August I will be done with "breaking" things and I can concentrate on trying to just improve.
Thanks to everyone who has offered their help. I think the weeks of the 18th and 25th will be when we need to cash in on the offers for dinners. My energy is so limited these days. I used to be able to take a nap after radiation and have enough energy for making dinner--now that doesn't seem to be working any more.
I decided to postpone Megan and Ariana's birthday parties with friends to August. Hopefully when I don't have to do radiation everyday I will be able to cope with some of the extras. Thanks for the offers to help. I will be contacting you in August, if you don't mind.
I just want to say that even though this is one of the hardest parts, I am still extremely grateful for the fact that everything has gone so well so far. I feel blessed by all of the support and love extended to me and my family, and thank you all for it.
Tondalea
Anyway, I met with the medical oncologist. His job is to "manage the cancer". He is in charge of meds, overall plan, etc. He ordered another set of liver tests to see how my liver is handling the tamoxifen. The good news is that all of the counts were normal. He looked me straight in the eye and told me that was terrific news, and that he had to be honest. The last counts that he saw really, really scared him. I guess people don't live very long/high quality lives with the counts I had last time. His best guess is that I was still trying to process the anesthesia out of my system from the surgery. The good news is that my body seems to be handling this medication just fine. I don't have to see him for another 6 months!
I also saw my radiation oncologist. Busy day. I see him once each week during radiation. I just started the 5th week. He was just advising me how to best deal with the side effects of the radiation. There really isn't anything that can be done to make things better, in fact he expects them to just get worse over the next few weeks. He just helps make sure the skin isn't infected, etc. I still have three weeks of "slug life" left. I don't know how much time will be needed after the radiation to "bounce back to myself". It takes some people up to 6 months. I, of course, plan to be an over-achiever and not take nearly that long. The good news is that in August I will be done with "breaking" things and I can concentrate on trying to just improve.
Thanks to everyone who has offered their help. I think the weeks of the 18th and 25th will be when we need to cash in on the offers for dinners. My energy is so limited these days. I used to be able to take a nap after radiation and have enough energy for making dinner--now that doesn't seem to be working any more.
I decided to postpone Megan and Ariana's birthday parties with friends to August. Hopefully when I don't have to do radiation everyday I will be able to cope with some of the extras. Thanks for the offers to help. I will be contacting you in August, if you don't mind.
I just want to say that even though this is one of the hardest parts, I am still extremely grateful for the fact that everything has gone so well so far. I feel blessed by all of the support and love extended to me and my family, and thank you all for it.
Tondalea
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