"The Club"

Yesterday was a tough one.  I started the day by going to the hospital for a pre-op blood draw.  No big deal physically, but mentally it really hit me. Surgery is SOON and I need to be ready.  Is anyone ready?  I was talking with a friend about the whole thing, wondering why it is so emotional.  I think I figured it out.  Usually when someone has surgery it is to HEAL or FIX something--the beginning of being back to normal.  In this case, the surgery marks the beginning of the FIGHT.  Sometimes I am not sure I am up for either the surgery or the fight.  After the stop at the hospital, I needed to get a post-surgery bra.  They told me to bring a front closing sports bra--impossible to find in regular stores right now.  I ended up going to the medical supply store.  Well, when I got in there it really looked like a "dealing with breast cancer" store.  Racks of head wraps/hats, wigs, modified swim suits, and products to deal with lymphodema.  Tons of products with the pink ribbon, and a book everywhere called "blessed with cancer".  To be honest, at this point, I don't feel BLESSED with cancer.  I feel blessed in a lot of ways, none have anything to do with cancer.  I just wanted to get in and out of this place as quickly as I could.  No such luck.  Everything in my life seems to have become a medical event--including buying bras.  We had to fill out all the paperwork because the insurance pays part of the cost for medical supplies for recovery, they had me change my size due to post-op swelling, etc.  Something I have done for many years-buy bras-is now something I can't do without a medical opinion.  Sigh.  As I walked out of this store, I had a thought...I guess I am now officially a member of "the club".  They have a file on me.  I just pray that I don't have to earn the "frequent shopper card". 

But, aside from that depressing part, it was a good day.  Liam excitedly headed out for his very first Boy Scout Campout!  He really needed to just go hang out with BOYS.  Sometimes I feel sorry for him being totally surrounded by sisters.  Kate celebrated her birthday with 14 fun girls.  They ate brownies, drank soda, and watched the newest Harry Potter movie.  It was nice to hear so much laughter.  We have worried for so long that Kate struggled to get any social skills.  I guess she is managing okay.  She really is becoming an incredible young lady.  I think she is finding out who she is, and that confidence is helping her to be more social.  She still loves a good book, but she can actually put it away and enjoy friends too.  Yeah!

Today is a great day!  The sun is shining.  I am planning to enjoy mowing the lawn.  I do all of the lawn mowing in the family--until now.  Someone else is going to have to take over this season.  Is it crazy that I think I will miss it?  Then we are planning to take Nikki to the dog park and let her run until she is so tired she just can't run any more.  Rain is supposed to be back soon.  Glenn also bought fancy sausage to grill on the BBQ for dinner.  Yumm. 

The best part of the weekend is tomorrow.  Easter.  I have always been grateful for the Savior and his atonement.  It seems to have particular impact this year.  I really do KNOW that because of God's plan, and Christ's sacrifice there is so much more than this life and this body.  I find incredible peace in knowing that God knows my needs better than even I do and is always there for me.  My testimony of his love for ALL of his children only seems to grow as I am forced to walk into the unknown.  Right now, my faith seems to be the best tool of all to use to get me through.  Happy Easter to you all!

Tondalea